Wally West doesn't drink coffee
by notagoodplace4gods
Summary: and Artemis Crock can't get over it. Coffee Shop AU


**A/N:** I don't really ship spitfire, but I wrote this for a friend because she does and she desserves all the fics. This was hard to write, but surprisingly fun. Artemis works in a coffee shop and is annoyed at everything, especially at the ginger who doesn't like coffe because _what_. Spoiler alert: she's not annoyed at him for not drinking coffee, she's annoyed because she likes likes him. Meanwhile, Dick's a little troll, god bless him, and M'Gann ships wally/artemis a lot. Wally's a dork and Artemis's in denial

xxx

"Name?" Artemis hates working in a coffee shop, she truly does. It's an incredibly boring job, but that's far from being why she despises it so much. Here is the main reason she does it; people are always in a horrible mood or in a hurry and can't be bothered to be kind or, at least, polite to the person who gives them coffee, - to the person who could give them a coffee she spit on, by the way. And it is very tempting.

The boys standing in front of the balcony, however, seems to be the complete opposite of the clients she usually gets. They are smiling. The redhead is actually laughing.

"Dude, do you wanna bet how many people will turn around when she calls for a 'Dick'? - He takes a quick, but amazingly indiscrete look at the establishment and his grins gets even bigger. "Mr. Vertigo is sitting right over there and he is a major dick, I'm sure the shoes will fit."

His friend, the one wearing sunglasses _inside _shakes his head no, his tiny smile almost getting lost in so much disapproval.

"Wally, what do you want to bet? Seriously, you have no money. And no dignity, might I add." He points out before the other can protest with an over the top, dramatic cry. "Seriously, you owe me so much money already... Do you remember that time we betted on..."

"Dude!" The boy's face gets suddenly redder than his messy curls and he facepalms out of embarrassment.

Artemis bites on her smile and pushes away the fact that she's dying to know what they are talking about.

"So, you're Dick, right?" She coughs to bring their attention back to their orders because there's a line forming behind them and the two boys still are the only ones smiling. "Short for Richard?"

He nods and Artemis moves on.

"What about you?" He turns to the redhead.

"Me? Oh, okay, I just came in to accompany him and to make a dick joke, but since we're here, hummm." He looks over at the menu and licks hips lips as if he's just remembered he's hungry. "I'll want three bagels, two muffins and, wait, do you guys have croissants?" He leans on the balcony, trying to get a better view of the displayed food."This is awesome. I want one."

"It's a cheese and ham croissant." Artemis specifies, just in case, because he's looking at it from a considerable distance and there's no way in hell he can read what the card says and the horrifying memory of one of her customers having an allergic reaction still lingers on her mind, so she's not taking any chances.

"Yeah, yeah, I want it." He answers fast, as if the flavor's irrelevant. And, judging by the way his friend is silently laughing by his side, it probably is.

"... And what would you like to drink?"

"The biggest soda you have."

Artemis is trying really hard to hide her surprise, but _serioulsy. _This guy follows a friend into a coffee shop, decides he's going to have an early lunch, okay, that's weird, but fine, she's not going to protest against him giving her money. But he doesn't drink coffee? 95% of the reason she accepted the job were the free caffeined drinks she gets while working so she's a bit offended.

Maybe she's staring too much because the guy shrugs and goes:

"I don't really like coffee."

Okay. Now she's just very offended.

xxx

But then the weird guy and his friend come back the next morning and the next and every morning since that first day, bringing more friends along and Artemis can't help, but learn their names.

Dick is the one with the sunglasses and the sarcastic smile. He probably studies or works a lot more than all of his friends because he drinks way more coffee than all of them combined.

Conner is the tall, dark and handsome one, yet he always seems to be incredibly offended by something he has no idea what and god help him when he finds it. The thing is, it kind of works for him. He takes his coffee black and Artemis thinks it's a little sexy.

Kaldur seems to be the sensible one. He never raises his voice and he probably gives the 'I'm not angry, I'm disappointed' speech every time his friends tell him a bad joke. He likes to mix his coffee with some milk.

Wally is the hyperactive ginger, who tells, - bad, - jokes and makes stupid puns. He laughs at his own jokes, he laughs so hard sometimes he never gets to the punch line. His laugh is loud and he talks loud and he can't eat cookies without getting crumbs everywhere. He doesn't drink coffee and Artemis can't get over it.

"Careful, it's hot." Megan, the new waitress brings their table a freshly baked cake.

"Nothing's hotter than you, babe." Wally says and smiles his biggest smile.

Wally's also the shameless idiot who flirts with everything that moves and Artemis doesn't know why it makes her so angry, but it does.

xxx

Megan joins the group exactly three hours after meeting them and they start hanging out a lot more in the coffee shop, waiting for her shift to end so they can go watch a movie or play some videogames, and Artemis tries her hardest not to pay attention to any of them.

She gets invited once.

Megan looks so disappointed when she refuses, Artemis can't help, but feel guilty for lying to her. The redhead's so sweet, it should be a crime to make her sad. Next time Megan invites her, the blond doesn't have the heart to tell her no.

She was actually having fun until she catches a glimpse of Megan and Conner smiling at each other like the idiots in love they are. Sure, they had been trying to keep the relationship a secret, but could she miss it? It isn't a big deal or anything, she only had a little crush on Conner, but still, her ego's a bit hurt.

Wally's still a jerk with his oblivious and relentless flirting, though, and that makes her feel a little better.

"So, hey, when you and Conner decide to come out as a couple, can I please tell Wally?" She asks Megan some days later and gets a little laugh in return. Megan probably thinks she's joking, but she means it. Telling Wally and waching his face crumble would be a dream come true, seriously, she's dreamed about it before and it was _amazing_

xxx

Next time Wally asks for a decaf, Artemis gives him a de-decaf, - yeah, okay, she's been hanging around the losers group a lot these past few days and Dick's stupid puns are rubbing off on her, - and it feels good.

The prankster has been pranked and all is alright in the world for a moment.

But then the moment's gone because Wally drinks it all in one go and doesn't even notice there's coffee in his drink. Artemis is two thirds disappointed and one third amused. She was expecting him to spit it out the minute he took the first sip so she could make fun of him in front of his friends, but what happened instead was... unexpected. Has the kid never drunk coffee before in his life? Doesn't he know how it tastes like?

_What is wrong with him?_

"Why are you staring at Wally?" Megan asks and Artemis almost drops the tray of glasses she's holding because _What? She is not! _"Hello, Megan! You two would be great together, you know?" She squeals a little and talks about how much she _ships _them together and Artemis needs to take internet away from her asap.

Instead, she carefully drops the glasses on the sink, moves to the saloon and over to the group's table and shoves Wally out of his chair.

"What the hell, blondie?" He groans and she feels better.

xxx

"So."

They have just oppened the coffee shop and it's so early Artemis wasn't expecting any costumers for at least half an hour, but she turns around to see Dick Grayson standing behind the balcony.

"You gave Wally coffee." He says and she freezes.

"I thought it would be funny, but whatever." She gets mad because she doesn't need any reminders that her prank failed so spetacularly.

"When I got to our dorm last night he'd rearranged all the furniture and was watching Zoey 101 on flash forward while lying upside down on the couch because he couldn't keep still for more than two minutes."

"Wow." Artemis tries to picture it and it's the most amazing thing ever. She was feeling like shit for having to wake up at such an ungodly hour to get to work, but now she discovered Wally West watches Zoey 101. _Wally West watches Zoey 101. _This is quickly becoming the best day of her life.

"I've taken pictures, but you're not allowed to see them. You're grounded." And suddenly it's back to being shitty.

"Excuse me?"

"It was actually pretty funny, but it could have been a lot worse, trust me. The kid's already hyperactive as he is, he doesn't need one of his friends slipping him coffe, so I'm grounding you. No seeing the pictures and no calling him names for a month."

"We're not friends." Artemis first instinct is to correct him, her second instinct is to go after Megan to get her to hear it too, but then she remembers her friend's shift starts only at noon. It's just that... She and Wally would never look good together because they're aren't even friends. They're far from it and she wants everyone in the universe to know it. "I mean, he's stupid and annoying, and _he doesn't drink coffee! _I hate him, okay?"

"Okay." Dick just smiles and she feels even worse.

xxx

Not being able to call Wally names for a month is bad. Wally knowing that she can't call him names for a month is the _absolute worst._

The guy makes his uncle and aunt stop by the coffee shop on the way to the beach to get a morning snack and he goes in with colorful shorts, no shirt on, sunglasses on the top of his head, sunscreen all over his face and bare shoulders, carrying a giant ball in one hand and spaghetis on the other and Artemis bangs her head on the balcony in pure frustration.

She just really wants to call him 'baywatch'. She wants it so bad she could cry. She needs it. From the bottom of her heart. Really. The struggle is real.

xxx

The month becomes two months when she calls him a nerd. She should have known better, but she is taken by surprise when she runs into him on her college campus and learns he's a physics student.

A physics student, - and a enthusiastic one, mind you, - who doesn't drink coffee.

She always thought the other guys were joking when they called him a genious and she lets herself be impressed, - _because, wow, that's amazing. No, wait, this isn't right, _\- for two whole seconds before taking control of her feelings once again.

It's not amazing, it's weird, - _there, much better._ Wally's such a weirdo.

"Who knew you were such a closeted nerd, West?" She likes calling him by his surname. Calling him by name would imply they know each other and are somewhat friends, _which they aren't._

Wally's on the phone with Dick so quick she's impressed again, ugh, no, not impressed. Annoyed. She's annoyed at him. _What the fuck is wrong with her?_

"Dude, she just called me a nerd! Punish her!"

The two months become three months when she calls him a tattle-tale.

xxx

Then she learns he hates being called 'Wallace' and it makes the three months bearable.

xxx

Artemis watches Wally from the balcony and tries to be angry at him. He's very focused on whatever he's typying away on his laptop and he doesn't appear to be leaving anytime soon so there goes her plan to close the shop and go home earlier today. She's trying really hard to be angry, but there's something else too, there's a tiny bit of _worry._

It's been a week since Conner and Megan told their friends they were dating and Wally had been desolated, for a whole minute, before getting over it and congratulating them both. It was a pleasant surprise to see how quickly he bounced back to his cheerful normal self, specially to Megan who was afraid of losing his friendship.

But the thing is, what if he didn't?

Wally had spent the following days furiously working on a project for college and that didn't leave any spare time for him to be upset. Artemis knows a thing or two about pretending everything's fine. She's been there, she's done that, she's actually still doing that.

She doesn't let herself think about her dad or her sister, or her mom, in that wheelchair crying with happyness because she was going to college.

Instead, she thinks about Wally, sitting alone at that table, overworking himself and thinks _did he really like Megan that much? _She doesn't think about how that particular thought makes something inside her chest break.

"Hey." Not being able to handle the silence, she goes over to him. "I brought you a donut, it's been, what? Three whole hours since you've last eaten?"

Wally jumps at the sound of her voice, which is _hilarious._

"Hey." He seems surprised at her being nice to him, but gets over it as quickly as he does all things. "Is it poisoned?"

"No." Artemis rolls her eyes, but doesn't walk away. She figures talking to him is a lot less dangerous than thinking about him.

"Is it poisoned with coffee?" Wally raises an eyebrow at her, his face just so serious, she has to laugh.

By the time she finishes laughing, he's done with the donut.

"Hey, I just had to ask. If I drink coffee again, even if it's an accident, Dick will kick me out and I can't afford my own place, so..." He pauses when he raises his head and looks around the room. When he notices they're the only ones in there, he curses. "Shit, I didn't realize it was so late, I should probably..." He gets up and suddenly Artemis's saying:

"Not, it's okay. The coffee shop won't close for another hour so you can stay." Then she realizes what she just said and goes red. "I mean, if you want to. If you'd rather go, then go. I don't care, either way."

"Then I'll stay for a bit more." Wally sits and shrugs. "I promised Dick I'd be gone all night so he could have Babs over and I can't go to my uncle's so early, he's at work and so is my aunt and I'd be all alone with Bart, you know my cousin Bart, right? God, the kid's a hurricane, he cannot stand still for a minute and I really have to get this paper done..."

He's oversharing and Artemis stops him.

"What is it about? Your paper."

"Uh, it's about superheroes. Actually it's more about their superpowers. Most people don't understand how it works and thinks it's all about magic, but it isn't." He's gesturing with both of his hands and if this isn't an indication about how dear the subject is to him, then the huge grin on his face gives it away. "There's always a scientific explanation behinds it if you just dig deep enough. We could possibly explain it all through mutations, bioengineering, bioelecttricity and..."

Artemis sits on a chair next to him and listens to him rant about the science of superpowers. He's so excited, he talks fast and Artemis manages to understand only 2 out of 10 words he says, but she can't bring herself to stop him. He looks so... happy, it's nice.

"You're such a nerd." She says it, but Wally just grins back at her, instead of dropping everything to call Dick and tattle on her. He's not insulted by it and that's okay because she isn't sure if she meant it to be insulting, this time.

"But not all heroes have superpowers, right? Don't they deserve any credit in your book?"

"Of course they do! Look, you can admire other heroes as much as you want. We all do, but the thing is: if The Flash isn't your favorite, then you're wrong." Wally says and goes from respectable scientist to six year old fanboy in less than two seconds.

"You." Artemis crosses her arms in front of her chest and smirks at him. "Are wrong. What's so great about having superspeed? Seriously."

"What's so..." He pauses for dramatic effect. "I'll show you what's so great about it, here, I have a list." Of course he has a list. Artemis is not surprised at all by this turn of events.

She watches Wally go throught fifty reasons why the Flash is the best hero ever and thinks about which way would be better to get him to shut up; punching him or kissing him, but then remembers that she hates him and the choice's suddenly not so difficult to make.

Wally shuts up on the 53rd, but only because his cellphone rings.

"Hey, uncle B. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just killing some time until you and aunt I get home... What? What time is it? What? No, that's... "He looks at his wrist watch and then at Artemis and Artemis looks away. "Oh, I, uh, I guess I lost track of time? I'm sorry, I'm heading home now." He hangs up and stands, starting to gather his things up.

He and Artemis are suddenly very aware that they've spent two and a half hours talking to each other. They've spent two and a half hours talking, not fighting or bickering, just talking, like friends do, except they aren't really friends, are they?

"So, uh, thanks for not kicking me out." Wally runs a hand through his messy hair.

"You're welcome." Artemis wants to dig a hole in the floor so she can curl up and die in there.

He smiles and she smiles back and it's awkward and horrible and why is her heart beating so fast?

Wally thanks her again and leaves and Artemis does not think about what just happened. She doesn't. At all.

xxx

"Who asked her? She's just a waitress!" Roy rolls his eyes and crosses his arms in front of his chest when Kaldur asks for the blond's opinion on which sci-fi movie they should all go watch this weekend.

Artemis has heard about Roy before because, apparently, he's gone to middle school with Wally, Dick and Kaldur, but they don't hang out as much as they used to these days and that's a good thing because he's a jerk.

"Dude, back off." Wally answers, before she can. "Artemis's a part of the group now and she has as much of a say on movie night as you do. And she also minors on science so that makes her a lot qualified, okay?"

"Fine." Roy drops it and Kaldur changes the subject.

Artemis doesn't stick around to find out which movie they picked and Wally immediately goes after her.

"Hey." He calls her, in a whisper, leaning over to the balcony after making sure no one's listenning. "So, about Roy..."

"I don't care."

"He's not always that much of a jerk. He's just... weirdly possessive of a group of friends he supposedly doesn't want to be seen with now that he's all grown up and over our little kids group."

"I said I don't care." She snaps at him. "And you didn't need to say anything, I can defend myself just fine, thank you very much." Artemis's heart throbs on her chest and she convinces herself that's because she's mad at him for defending her. Does he think she's incapable of doing that herself? Does he think that she's weak?

"I know you can, but you shouldn't have to. I mean, you've got nothing to prove. You waiter on people to pay your way through college and that is awesome. Roy's embarrassed because he didn't rebel when he was our age and ended up letting Ollie pay for his college education. But seriously, you're way more responsible than a lot of people I know. I just can't say you're the most responsible person I know because, well, Kaldur."

She's still mad, but she has to give him that one.

"But you're, like, second place! Geez, that sounded way better in my head." He facepalms and Artemis bites on her smile. "So... You really have nothing to prove, okay? We may not be, like, friends, but you're part of the group now and..."

"We're friends." She says it, quick, before she can think about it. She says it because there's actually no more reasons why they can't be friends; Wally stopped flirting with Megan when he found out she was dating Conner, he's not being stupid right now, he's being nice and caring and sweet and she can't keep hating him just because he doesn't drink coffee, can she?

"What?" It's so sudden that Wally thinks he probably misheard her.

"We're... We're friends." She forces herself to repeat it and it's worth it because Wally smiles his brightest smile and it's one of the most beautiful things she has ever seen and _oh, fuck._

xxx

It's new year's eve and they all get invited to Wayne's party. Artemis tries her best not to go, but Megan's puppy eyes are yet to be defeated. When both of them arrive, Dick's butler send them all the way up to Dick's room, - which just happens to be twice the size of her entire apartment, but_okay, _\- and Artemis is actually glad she finds the rest of the group playing truth or dare, away from all the noise and the rich fancy people she would have dreaded to make small talk with.

They're all a bit drunk already because Dick stole some bottles of vodka from downstairs and Artemis is glad she doesn't need to make any excuses to start drinking herself.

She downs five shots and she's glad Megan made her come, she's glad she's spending new year with her friends. All of them. She's glad she's there, even though Wally's singing Taylor Swift as a dare and he's so bad Conner wrestles him to the floor ins a mist of anger and regret to make him stop.

She stops being glad when Megans points at her.

"Truth or dare?" Megan asks and she sounds so excited Artemis knows there's no escape. She knows her friend will ask her about Wally if she picks truth and that she'll dare her to do something about Wally if she picks dare. Life's really unfair.

She downs a sixth shot and looks at Wally. She's drunk, he's drunk, they're all drunk and it gets easier.

"What the hell." She shrugs, crawls to where he is and kisses him.

She has his face in her hands, fingers intertwined with his messy curls, body pressed against him, and she's kissing him. She's gently pushing his lips with her tongue, trying to make them cave for her, but Wally's just standing there, completely still. Wally West's not moving and that's new. Maybe that's bad? It could be bad, it could be the most horrible thing in the world because they've just become friends and Artemis could have ruined it all because she's drunk and he's pretty, - and pretty amazing, actually, - and she's tired of pretending not to notice or care. She's tired of_not kissing him _because not kissing him is hard and frustrating and...

It takes Wally some time, - and, as a fan of Flash's speed he should be embarrassed about that, really, - but then he's kissing her back and he tastes like a summer day, it reminds her of being on vacation and having nothing to do and being happy. Wally tastes sweet and bright and hot and_happy._

He likes her back, there's a voice screaming inside her head and she can feel her cheeks heating up and she can place 94% of the blame on the fact that they're making out with so much intensity and _want _they could set the entire mansion on fire, but the 6% is undeniably due to him _liking her back _and Artemis wants to keep kissing him until she dies so she won't have to deal with stupid pathetic teenage-y feelings.

"Get a room!" But then someone yells.

"Get another room because that's my room!" Dick yells back and Artemis had forgotten they weren't alone in the room. Mistake. Big Mistake.

She looks up, everything spins around her and she wouldn't mind if the floor gave out beneath her feet so she could get sucked in and be left alone to die.

"Yeah, okay." But Wally's suddenly on his feet. He's moving and he's pushing her along. Artemis thinks she sees Dick smiling before leaving the room, but she can't be sure.

Wally's so eager, he literally sweeps her off her feet and carries her bridal style to the nearest empty room. Artemis's too drunk to be angry, though. She's so drunk she thinks it's cute.

He closes the door behind him, lets go of her, - without really letting go because his fingers are brushing on her arm and it sort of tickles.

"So." He says and laughs and it's awkward because the thing that just happened? It was on the heat of the moment, it was done out of instinct, they didn't think it over, but now they've had time. Whatever happens now is deliberate, it's gonna be their responsibility and they can't go back from this.

But Artemis can't stop thinking about how bad she wants to kiss him again, so she does.

"Happy new year?" She says when they break apart for air. Their foreheads are still touching and his breaths are so warm it might actually burn her, but she doesn't move away, she doesn't care and she's too drunk to blame it all on being drunk.

She likes him and _he likes her back._

"Happy new year." He smiles and lock their lips together. She immediately kisses him and it's a lot harder than she intended, but she can't help it. She just can't help her(feelings, actions,)self when he's concerned, - and she tried, seriously, god knows how much she tried.

Thing is, judging by the adorable happy sounds Wally's making, she probably won't have to, ever again. That's a good way to get an year started.

xxx

The first time Artemis wakes up she's feeling like shit. Her head hurts and everything's so bright it makes it worse. She turns on the bed and there's nothing, there's no one there and she feels cold. She closes her eyes and doesn't think about how she kissed Wally last night or how Wally kissed her or how _she and Wally kissed each other _and how he's gone and probably hates her. She doesn't think about how she'll have to stop hanging out with the group to avoid him and probably quit her job and move out of the country so that she doesn't end up murdering him, - for being a jerk, for kissing her and giving her hope and then being a jerk all over again.

She doesn't think about any of that because it makes her head hurt and she turns over again and falls back asleep.

The second time she wakes up, it's still cold, but she smells coffee. She looks up and Wally's smiling at her.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty."

"No." She groans and sits on the bed, next to him. "Don't talk. Just silently give me the coffee."

"Sure thing, Miss Congeniality." Wally passes her the cup and she takes a sip. It's surprisingly good, but it lacks a spoonful of sugar.

"Did you make me coffee?" Artemis makes herself ask, instead of 'why are you still here?' and takes another sip. "You... But you hate coffee."

"But you don't." Wally says and shrugs and Artemis bites on a traitorous smiles that's threatening to take her whole face. "Am I a good boyfriend or what?"

"You dork." She punches him in the arm, but doesn't move away. Their shoulders are touching a little, brushing against each other, and it feels good

It's a new year and everything's new already, but Artemis has a good feeling about this.

_epilogue_

"Baywatch? Seriously?" Wally pouts when he reads the name written on his decaf cup. "How long have you been waiting to use that one? Really."

"Remember that day you went here before going to the beach with your uncle and aunt?" Artemis laughs, and pokes her boyfriend's nose. "Now move along, I am very busy today." She makes a hand gesture, indicating the empty shop.

"Didn't you hear? Today's 'distract your girlfriend while she's at work' day." Wally leans his back against the balcony, throws his head back so he can still see her and grins playfully. "Also, that was three months ago."

"Yup." She stares at him and smiles."But I couldn't call you 'baywatch' then, I was grounded, remember?"

"So you waited three whole months to make this joke."

"Yup."

"That's amazing, babe, I'm so proud of you." He turns over and kisses her. He tastes like decaf and she used to hate it, but she's growing fond of it. A lot fond of it, but _shhhhhhhhh _please don't tell anyone.


End file.
